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May 22

A Gentleman’s mission

Speaker: Tzyy Fung

Inside the clean, fancy and elegant washroom of Four Season Hotel, a man was standing right in front of this massive mirror. On his left hand, he holds a Gatsby Stick Wax. His right hand’s fingers, meticulously, running through his coal black hair, trying to make the most stylish gentleman hairstyle he could possibly do. On his top, he wears a whole white, smooth shirt. Around his neck wraps a polka dotted bow tie that he just bought a day before at H&M. Undoubtedly, this outlook is a perfect gentleman appearance, I am guessing the goal is definitely to impress the opposite sex, like a peacock uses its bold blue/green colours combined with a very long tail to attract peahen.

Fellow toastmaster, flashing back 2 months ago before that, at his own home, lying on his old, blue 3 seaters sofa, instead of being well groomed, his hair was a complete mess like the wild bush plant in the wilderness. He was wearing white cotton singlet on top and a black Adidas sport pant. On his hand, it was no longer hair product but rather his iPhone. Despite being mentally exhausted from work, he was tirelessly playing his new found apps. Swiping left and right, this guy was hoping using this magical, popular and imaginary cupid, his single life will come to an end. Yes, it is a dating apps and depending only on a few photos, very superficially, he is going to judge whether the girl is suitable for him, or rather, does he fall in love on first sight. After god knows how long he swiped, at last he stopped swiping. Like the lost man in Sahara desert who found water, his eyes shined as he finally found one girl who can get his heart pounding, his palm sweating, his pupil widening, literally just by looking at her photo from his palm sized phone screen. This girl has big brown eyes, the type of brown that was like a sweet chocolate, the chocolate that melts at the slightest bit of heat from love, particularly his love. Her smile in the photo is so genuinely sweet, with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through him. At that moment, he was totally in love.

Without hesitation, he quickly swiped right. And yes, it is a match. Jackpot he thought, she is interested in me! Without showing his excitement, as calmly, politely as he could, he typed “Oh hi, nice to see you. You have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen. Can we be friend? *Smiley face*” Within a minute, the girl replied “nice knowing you….” their conversation never ended ever since. They chatted day and night for the next two months. Fast forward and back to the fancy washroom, this is finally their first date night. In that washroom, he was preparing to go out there to eat his prey!

Nervous yet excitedly, he left the washroom and walked toward the bar. He looked at his watch, it says 7:00pm, the exact time when they agreed to meet. Afar, he saw a lady with elegant black dress, standing at first bar table. “That must be her, that’s what she told me she will be wearing, but why does her body shape looks different from the back, she isn’t as curvy or as sexy as I thought, it’s okay, maybe that’s not her.” Politely, he still walked toward to the table to check out this lady and without fail, the big brown eyes cannot be wrong, that’s her. He quickly introduced himself and their date started just like that. They were in the bar for two hours then the lady left. That was their first and sadly, that would also be their last.

Some of you should have guessed it right, that gentleman is the one who is standing here now. That was me 3 years ago when I started my first Tinder date. No joke, it was true story. Perhaps my expectation on that first date was too high leading to such a big disappointment. Along with her double lidded you can tell, such expectation is not realistic because such girls wouldn’t appear in Tinder, and certainly would not date me in the first place. Still, I never learnt from experience and I had second and third date until I got fed up, completely deleted Tinder, telling myself dating apps and first sight love don’t work. And tonight I am proud to tell you that that gentleman, me, is no longer single! So all the singles out there, are you still playing dating apps? If you do, don’t be like me, be more realistic and fair to your future partner out there.

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